When we are wondering and wanting too many a thing.

Life gets complicated and unsatisfying. And then we would make decisions that we think will make things simpler, but instead they become confusing and irritating like a whole bunch of lines messily drawn one overlapping the others. And we're not superhuman, but we would always think that maybe we could do something right and heroic for once.


And I'm such an over-thinker. Over-wanting.


I want my chocolate ice cream that is probably melting right now in Diem's freezer in our dorm. I hope it survives ='( So I went shopping today and I spent so much money. Actually, that was the first time that I go all out, buying whatever I want. Cause usually when I shop, I contemplate on whether I should buy it or leave it. So the first thing that I talked about today in this blog doesn't completely tie in with my shopping. I believe it's true that most people start off setting a standard about something.

Let's just say...choosing a love partner... Like I said in the blog title, they start off in a process of picturing the love interest and then wanting. I should stop beating around the bush. This blog is basically about the "ideal boyfriend/girlfriend."

So usually if you ask someone what would be their ideal. They would list a bunch of adjectives that can be pretty specific and some are vague. They might say "Someone who is nice, well-mannered, understanding, sweet, etc." BUT once you meet someone you like, the only damn thing that matters is that you guys mutually share the same feelings for each other. So why all that complications? When someone asked me that question, it's so hard for me to answer. I want to give them an answer but then it's just impossible to talk about it. Ok so what if you meet someone that fits your descriptions of the ideal? There are millions of people who could fall into every single description, but then it doesn't necessarily end with you liking him. There's always, what psychologist would say, a third variable. But people still can't help but think too much and want too much, as a result, confuse a clump of others through their generalization and categorization. What, The, Heck. was I talking about this whole time? Anyway, I had a good day (cleaning the kitchen) hope everyone had a so-so if not wonderful day, too!

My birthday and stuff.

Oh my knuckle, I haven't blog in the longest time! Anyway, I've been having some good times at Davis. My birthday was on October 13 and although I was in Davis w/o my family and close friends from high school, my buddies at Davis along with Diem and Abby made it such a wonderful day for me. I love you guys!!! I really miss everyone from high school. I miss friendly faces and awesome hugs of Mari, Mira, Aisha, and a bunch of other people. I miss Yingsi, annoying (haha jp) and a drunkie always getting lost and confused. I miss Patricia and the distance makes me miss her more. And I miss Nancy, my badass gangster panda girl. I miss Jin for the inappropriate things he say and the sweet things he did. I miss so many so many so many...people, memories. What have I been up to at Davis...Well I've been staying up soooo late. With my new friends. They're an interesting mix, in a good way. haha. And also weird, and awkward (turtle/uterus/brontosaurus). AND I finally went to the gym, now my legs are sore like lemons. I've been sleeping a lot in class and that gives Diem and Abby ideas to mess with me. I'm so tired now I'm gonna go to sleep. Goodnight apples.
the epiphany of playfulness.