I don't know anymore

Should I blame myself for the barrier that's starting to build up in our friendship?
Anyway, today I was woken up by Anna phone call asking me for Jin's number because supposedly they were planning to go eat dim sum together. Then I planned to go eat at sushi house. Since we couldn't think of anyone to call (although we did call jason, diana, and abby) only me and Diem went. So I tried to reason for it maybe it's because Anna was about to leave for Harvard soon so they want to hang out with her. But there has been so many times and so many reasons that I have not been hanging out with Jin and Jason. I guess it's a one-sided thing and only I feel close to them but they don't feel the same way. During my last high school year as a senior, I've grown really attached to some people. Some of them I would definitely mention is Jason and Jin, and I want to point them out because lately I feel so distanced from them.
Jin...let's see. It was so unexpected becoming a close friend to him. In middle school, we never really hang out and talk that much. We were in such a biiiiiig group and I only stick with the girls or Jason and Huy. And I always thought he was one of those people (Judy, Baiyi, Davis, etc) who did not want to be close to me because he probably think I'm obnoxious and an untrustworthy person. So I was always discouraged once and again to talk to him and the other people. But when we got to high school, and although it took us a while, we started talking more in Senior year. Jin was always nice to me, even though he has a potty mouth and he says mean things, but I know he was a veryyy sweet person for all the nice things he did for me. I always thought it was something that I could keep in my heart forever because someone could be so nice to me. And we will remain as good, very good friends. But it doesn't feel that way anymore. And Jason, we've been friends for 7-8 years and I feel like I could always talk to him with no restriction because of how comfortable I feel when I'm around him. Honestly, I don't have a lot of guy friends that I could feel at ease with. A friend like that don't come around as often, it feels much more special. Ever since he had his first girlfriend, it was harder to communicate. But then we got closer after that situation. But now our friendship is strained again.
So I don't know anymore.
And I got a call asking me to go bowling. And as much as I want to go, I said "no" again...and I feel like Jin is tired of me saying I don't want to go that he doesn't bother asking me anymore. It makes me feel sad, disappointed, and out of place. I wish I could have the freedom they have, then I wouldn't be so constricted to answer a simple question such as, "do you want to go bowling?" And I doo sooo badly want to say yes, but at the same time, I feel so discouraged with the impression that I get when I talk or see you guys. I'm sorry. You may say I think too much, but I wouldn't think this way if it's not the because of the kinds of action you guys make to have me thinking this way. Can this be mended?