Positive.

Today was a good day. Job hunting is the first thing I definitely should do, but the last thing that I want to do right now. But I did it anyway. There was a lot of discouragement and self-doubt because I don't have a notable list of achievements or job experience; not to mention, I am only staying in the bay for about 2 and a half months. For some reason, I like this balance; the feeling of optimism and self doubt evens out because if I don't get the job, I will not be too disappointed. At the same time, I have hope and I welcome any opportunity that will come my way. Be it a lie or whatever when they say "Yes, we are hiring!" but wow that made my day. Laughable. But I guess this is the picture of a girl who never had a job. Geez, regrets, I have lots. I could have gotten a job during my high school years, but my mom did not approve of it. That's why it got to me. My laziness and lack of encouragement to get a darn job. Someone help me because I really want to grow up. I feel like a little kid when I type out my resume only to stop at "Past employments." Yea I associate adulthood to that. Yes it is subjective, but let's say it is embarrassing to be 18 and not know what it's like to work. What constitutes happiness in our life can never be easily grasped, rightly fulfilled, or completely satisfied. It always changes. Like right now, a job would make me the happiest-go-lucky girl on Earth. No doubt.
And of course there's you. xP
Overly hopeless.
I'll suffice. I will remain positive because this balance of optimism and doubt has helped me to be strong.