Spent and Done

And I hear your words that I made up.
You say my name like there could be an us.
I best tidy up my head I"m the only one in love.
I'm the only one in love.
Melt my heart to stone- Adele

Today marked the day that I survived the first quarter of college =). The journey was extremely tiring, stressful, and unpleasant. But I am glad that I experienced it, lived it, and got through it. Now...just 3 years and few months left of this. haha. Since I didn't get to sleep for more than 2 hours these past week, I indulged myself in a 3 hours nap just now. It's amazing how I hard it was to wake me up even though there were people in my room talking so loud. That's how spent I am.

On to other things...
Lately, I've been listening to Adele songs. I love her songs! And she's a great singer. Her songs are bittersweet and relatable. Her voice brings the song a whole new meaning. Instead of someone who is asking for pity, she creates the character as someone who accepts and being realistic about the situation and that's what makes it so bittersweet.
Life is...indeed bittersweet. Maybe that's why I like chocolate so much. But I usually like it just a little bit sweeter than it is bitter. Like someone in the past who created the saying, "You are what you eat," I'm a bitter person who makes an effort to be sweet. :P Haha. Honestly, I haven't been fully open with my feelings when I write on these blogs. And as a person who doesn't keep a diary or a journal, those feelings are all bottled up inside. There are many things that I don't even tell my best friends. I'm afraid of my feelings being ridiculed. Ah, it's crazy (and Hieu must think I, myself is crazy, too.) but I'm so pessimistic about what I feel. I usually think of how unreasonable my emotions can get and how people will shake their heads at me for it. So when you ask me how do I feel, expect the most incomplete answer.
And back to what Hieu said on how I keep on beating myself down. Yea, maybe it's true that I'm not willing. And it's also because I'm not strong. No, of course I don't like beating myself at these things. This was suppose to be an heureux voyage but I'm not making an effort at it. I'm sorry to myself. I think I make a lot of little mistakes and creating ridiculous imaginations in my life that makes me feel apologetic to others and myself. I'm one emotional person but I'm definitely not emo. So don't worry too much about me. Sometimes I just need fresh air, gerberas and tulips, and a little time to myself. Like right now!
Diem and Abby still have finals tomorrow, but I'm done. So I have start packing soon then I'll be back home in Oakland.