The longest nap.

I stayed home the whole day today. Also took a 3 hr nap. Whenever I open my eyes, I feel like closing them again as if to sleep more and to make up for all the extra hours that I did wrong to my body by not sleeping early. I got my desired dorm, and thanks to Denny's help I got the classes that I want, Yingsi left to Providence, many of my friends are moving in and starting classes, Mari Patty and Anna will be leaving for Harvard soon, and Davis is finally calling my name. I used to think college is just school and I never really see it as a big stepping stone. I see my birthday as simply a day that will pass onto another day, and I see college that way. But ever since I started selecting which college I should apply to, then finally make the big decision to which college I will be going to, I realized that going to college will be a milestone in my life. Mix with excitement, happiness, skepticalness, and fear, I feel that college could be overwhelming. I know that I will be like many others who will graduate from college, but at this moment, I feel scared for myself. When Denny told me that I could change my class today, I feel excited because I've been meaning to drop and add some classes. But when I was in the process of adding and dropping, I was stuck for 30 mins to 1 hour figuring out which classes I should take. Being so uncertain about what I want to study for the next four years in college, I wish I was not like that. I am an overanalyzer. I know that I am such an indecisive person and when I am stuck, I only have myself to blame. But honestly, when it comes to my major, I want to be fixed on it and not waver so much. There are so many things to learn and I want to learn everything (even though I know that is impossible). I don't know what I am good at, I don't know what I LOVE to specifically study because I seem to blend into everything besides math and science. I only know that I love learning. The sunrise and set and the next day start, college days are rolling in on me and I can't help but feel scared. Some people sleep to pass time but this nap that I took has a much different intention to it. I was wishfully thinking that maybe the clock would stop as I sleep so that life could give me more time to reflect on what I want to become and how I want to mold my life.